You've read that staying mentally active is good for the brain, and you'd love for your mom or dad to try brain games. But suggesting it can feel awkward. Will they feel patronized? Will they get frustrated with the tablet? Will they play once and never again?
This guide walks you through the whole process: choosing games that fit your parent, bringing up the idea kindly, setting things up, and helping the habit stick. It's written for adult children and caregivers, whether you live nearby or help from a distance.
First, Set Realistic Expectations
It helps to know what brain games can and can't do before you start.
Research on brain training is mixed. In the large ACTIVE study, older adults who practiced specific skills, like memory or processing speed, improved on those skills, but the benefits to everyday tasks were more limited. The National Institute on Aging notes that the evidence that brain games prevent cognitive decline is not conclusive, and a 2017 National Academies report called the evidence for cognitive training encouraging but inconclusive.
So why bother? Because staying mentally engaged is enjoyable, gives structure to the day, builds confidence, and can be a lovely way to connect. Think of brain games as one healthy habit among several, not a cure. Keeping this in mind also takes pressure off both of you.
If you're seeing memory changes that worry you, games aren't the answer on their own. Read our guide on how to talk to your parents about memory concerns and encourage a check-up.
Step 1: Start With What They Already Love
The easiest way in is through an existing interest. Think about your parent's history:
- Loves words? Crosswords, word searches, Scrabble, or word games.
- Good with numbers? Sudoku, rummy, cribbage or math puzzles.
- Visual or crafty? Jigsaw puzzles, spot-the-difference, pattern games.
- Competitive? Card games, chess, trivia with the family.
- Sociable? Game nights, bridge clubs, or online games with grandchildren.
Our list of 25 brain games for seniors has plenty of ideas in each category.
Step 2: Bring It Up the Right Way
How you frame the idea matters as much as the game itself.
What Tends to Work
- Make it about fun. "I found this puzzle game and thought you'd beat me at it."
- Make it shared. "Want to play a round together after dinner?"
- Make it their choice. Offer two or three options and let them pick.
- Tie it to something they value. Staying independent, keeping up with grandkids, or simply having something to do in the mornings.
What Tends to Backfire
- "You need to exercise your memory."
- "The doctor said you should do this."
- Comparing them to other people or to how they used to be.
- Presenting it as a test.
Nobody likes feeling that their mind is being monitored. Keep the tone light and respectful, and remember that your parent is an adult making their own choices.
Step 3: Choose Senior-Friendly Games
Whether paper or digital, look for:
- Large, clear text and good contrast.
- Simple rules that can be learned in a few minutes.
- No countdown timers, or the option to turn them off.
- Adjustable difficulty, so the game can grow with them.
- Short sessions, so a round can be finished in a few minutes.
If your parent is in their 70s or 80s, our age-specific guides may help: brain exercises for 70-year-olds and cognitive activities for 80-year-olds. If you're weighing up specific apps, our guide to choosing a brain games app for an elderly parent compares the popular ones.
Step 4: Set Up the Tablet or Phone (If Using One)
Technology is where many good intentions stall. A little preparation goes a long way. For every setting in detail, see our step-by-step guide to setting up an iPad or iPhone for an elderly parent.
Before You Hand It Over
- Increase text size and turn on bold text in the device's accessibility settings.
- Tidy the home screen. Put the game in a prominent spot and move rarely used apps away.
- Turn off unnecessary notifications that could confuse or interrupt.
- Make sure it's charged and keep the charger in an obvious place.
- Check the volume and any hearing needs. If your parent uses hearing aids, see our article on hearing and the brain.
The First Sessions
- Sit side by side, and let them hold the device.
- Resist the urge to tap for them. Guide with words instead.
- Write a simple card with steps: "1. Press the button on the side. 2. Tap the blue icon. 3. Tap Play."
- Play two or three times together before expecting them to go solo.
If technology in general is a hurdle, our guide to digital literacy for seniors has more tips.
A Simple App to Start With: SilverMind
If you'd like an app that was built with older adults in mind, SilverMind is available for iPhone and iPad. It has games and exercises across Memory, Speed, Attention, Words and Reasoning, with big text and no rushing.
For parents who are new to brain games, a few features help:
- A daily workout of three short exercises, so there's no need to decide what to play.
- Free exercises to try: Match Up, Shopping List, Speed Tap, Math Rush, Focus, Word Search, Finish the Phrase and Mini Sudoku.
- 14 languages, useful if your parent is more comfortable in their first language.
- Streaks that give a gentle sense of progress.
An optional subscription unlocks the rest. Try the free games together first and see what your parent enjoys.
Step 5: Help the Habit Stick
Starting is easy. Continuing is the hard part. These strategies help.
Anchor It to a Routine
Habits stick best when attached to something that already happens daily. Morning coffee, after lunch, or before the evening news are all good anchors. Our article on memory exercises in daily routines has more ideas, and our 5-minute daily brain workout offers a ready-made plan.
Keep It Short
Ten to fifteen minutes is plenty. Ending while it's still enjoyable makes it easier to come back tomorrow.
Make It Social
- Play the same puzzle and compare answers on your weekly call.
- Start a family trivia chat.
- Let grandchildren challenge grandma to a game during visits.
Connection is valuable on its own. The NIA lists loneliness and social isolation as real health concerns for older adults.
Celebrate Effort, Not Scores
Scores go up and down with sleep, mood and health. That's normal. Praise consistency ("You've played every day this week!") rather than performance.
Refresh When Interest Fades
Boredom is normal. When it happens, introduce a new type of game, switch from screen to paper for a while, or add a social game night.
If You Help From a Distance
Many adult children live hours away. You can still help:
- Set up the device during a visit, then leave it ready to go.
- Play the same daily puzzle and chat about it on the phone.
- Use a video call to walk through a new game together.
- Ask a neighbor, friend or local senior center about in-person game groups nearby.
- Send puzzle books by mail. A large-print crossword book is a thoughtful, low-tech gift.
When Frustration Shows Up
If your parent seems upset, anxious or embarrassed while playing:
- Lower the difficulty or switch to an easier game.
- Take a break for a few days without making a fuss.
- Reassure them that everyone finds some games hard.
- Watch for bigger patterns. Struggling with a new game is normal. Noticeable changes in everyday tasks, like managing bills or finding familiar routes, are worth discussing with a doctor. See signs of cognitive decline in parents.
Remember the Bigger Picture
Brain games are one ingredient. The NIA and the Alzheimer's Association emphasize a combination of habits: physical activity, good sleep, managing health conditions like blood pressure, a healthy diet, and time with other people. A walk together followed by a card game covers several at once. For a broader plan, see how to keep your elderly parent mentally sharp.
And take care of yourself too. Helping a parent is meaningful work that can also be tiring. Our guide to caregiver self-care is there when you need it.
The Bottom Line
Helping an elderly parent start brain games comes down to three things: choose games they'll genuinely enjoy, introduce them with warmth and respect, and make the habit easy and social. Keep expectations realistic, celebrate showing up, and enjoy the time spent playing together.
Research & References
- The ACTIVE Cognitive Training Study - National Institute on Aging
- Cognitive Health and Older Adults - National Institute on Aging
- Preventing Cognitive Decline and Dementia: A Way Forward (2017) - National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine
- Loneliness and Social Isolation - National Institute on Aging
- Brain Health - Alzheimer's Association
